Monday, March 27, 2017

Uh life gets serious...

Hey folks, it's me...the fat boy who WAS going to lose all kinds of weight and get fit.


If not, just scroll through my old blog postings, where I chronicled my amazing journey to weight loss, fitness....and failure.

A quick refresher.

I started last year, I think around the first of March, with the goal of losing 100 pounds. That's a lot, but I weighed in that day at 279 -- and I'm only 5'10". Heck, even at 179, I'd still weigh almost 30 pounds more than I did at my old high school graduation (more on that later).

Of course, I'm cursed with being the King of Yo-Yo dieting. If you look up that phrase in the dictionary, you may very well see my picture. It's nothing for me to drop 15-20 pounds in a month, only to gain it back the next month, and then some.

But 2016 was going to be different! First, I had never weighed that much, and something just had to give. I felt bad all the time, my blood pressure was through the roof, and it was just no fun being that big.

Second, I was going to do this handy dandy little blog, chronicling my efforts -- no, my success -- along the way. What was even cooler was getting a few tweets and comments from Mark Webster. Those of you who read my blog regularly back then (my sisters, my children, once or twice my wife) remember him as the Dude Who Ate (And Worked Out) Like The Rock For 30 Days.

So I was set, inspired, and rolling -- dropping 45 pounds in 60 days. And then...nothing.

No, worse than nothing. I started the ever-dreadful regain of the weight. I made a couple of half-hearted attempts at getting back on it, but I just got lazy, started eating bad, quit working out, and not only did I regain every single pound but...yes, you know what's coming ...I gained EVEN MORE. A few weeks ago I topped out at 298 pounds, if you can believe that.

Thiiiiissssss close to 300.

I've dropped off some since then, seemed to have settled around 285 pounds, but wowzers, that's just too much weight. Still, I haven't managed to get myself to any kind of consistent healthy eating plan, I'm not doing any cardio, though I have been hitting the weights some.

But then it happened. The notice that changed everything.

I discovered vanity.

Okay, let me explain. This morning, I received a FB message from an old friend from high school, a guy I graduated with. It was a group message, with a handful of us on it. Seems my alma mater -- Roanoke Valley Christian School -- will be marking 40 years since its first graduating class.

Let me take a moment to emphasize this is NOT 40 years since I graduate, but 40 years since the school held its first-ever graduation. We don't want any misunderstandings here.

Anyway, this friend, who I shall call...I don't know, maybe "Lewis," was asking out help in collecting the whereabouts of old RVCS alum, and in the course of the group message -- which kept growing during the day as we found more of us on FB -- someone suggested we have a reunion of our graduating class.

Well, that seems like a swell idea. Other than a dozen or so of us getting together a year or so after we graduated, we haven't had any kind of get together. Being a rather small group -- our class only had 25 students -- we were fairly tight-knit at the time, though we drifted apart relatively quickly.

Then it dawned on me -- no one will recognize me because there are freaking TWO of me now. I mean, I'm nearly twice as large as one my graduation day, when I came in at a svelte 150 pounds.

Given that the school's graduation is June 2, and any reunion we have would probably be around that date, I am in full panic mode! This is, after all, March 27. That's only 66 days away.

You better believe, I've spent my spare time today hopping around the net, looking for the miracle fitness plans that melt 80 pounds in 60 days. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'd still need to drop another 20 to 30 pounds, but hey, let's not go overboard -- 100 pounds in 60 days might be just a tad unreasonable.

So, my search for the 80-pound-loss-in-60-day plan took me to...well, it's late, this has gone on really long, so check back with me tomorrow when I share the miracle plan I found.

See ya then, and thanks for checking in after all these months...

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